While racing at the track I got to thinking about the different cycling clubs in Melbourne and their personalities. I should say that I have been a member of 2 clubs and my views are not based on any scientific study, but purely on the idle wonderings passing through my mind on the way home from DISC. Hence, I hope this causes no offence to those of you who take your affiliations seriously.
What got me thinking, was a couple of old timers who made the race in division 2 hard for their fellow riders. They were grizzled and somewhat soft around the middle, but with a hard glint in their eye, and a keen knowledge of tactics. They had made the trip from their gulag in the western suburbs and were card-carrying members of the Flemington Cycling club. This club seems to have a higher than average number of hard men (I am not sure if women are allowed to join- I have never met any), and if one is to believe their website, takes a dim view of their members fraternising with members of other clubs, attending foreign races, etc. This general hardness and unforgiving approach puts me in mind of Flanders in Belgium, where being the poorer, harder part of the country seems to turn out hungry cyclists who look about 20 years older than they are.
My own club- Hawthorn Cycling Club- seems to attract a large number of time trialists. What this says about the club, I do not know. I do know that whilst time trial bikes are the poster children of new technology in the bike industry, time trials are neither fun to watch or do, so I can only conclude that it is club of boring masochists. They also have one of the worst club strips- black and orange- it is up there with the AG2R brown and white kit from the pros. They do run a cracker of a track event on Sundays, where the strip can be seen in full skinsuited glory.
St Kilda Cycling Club is a fine inner city club, that provides, commentary, coffee, and seems to have a more active social scene than pretty much any other club- hence you are more likely to find eligible young riders of both sexes, mixing it up on the crit course and off. Christine has almost as many club championships here as Jeanie Longo. They have a fine looking strip- largely red in colour-that is set off nicely by a number of Italian bike makes, and Campy components. Members come from bayside suburbs, and further afield if single.
Northcote Cycling Club is a bit of a mystery club, where membership requires having Neiwand as your surname, or having thighs that are larger in diameter than most people’s chest. There are also some random road cyclists who mixed up Northcote for St Kilda, and have not been allowed to leave. Their kit is old school blue and white, and probably dates back to when Old Man Neiwand was a racing. If you race track, you have probably been spoken to sternly about your mistakes, and are better for it.
Blackburn Cycling club- as befits its location in family friendly eastern suburbs, is populated by juniors, and other riders who have been members since they were under 13s. It is rumoured that you cannot join if you have reached your majority. It has a fairly nice looking uniform of white grey and red, that is often seen flapping on the legs of bony prepubescent boys.
Carnegie Caulfield Cycling Club is the largest club, and certainly the club whose members have the largest aspirations (or their parents do). They have produced many champions, and will continue to do so. The new(ish) Carnegie kit has the unfortunate colour choice of light blue on the knicks over the brickie’s crack, and this can be a particular problem given there is a higher than usual chance you will be behind them. The design of the knicks also manages to make the skinniest backside look larger, which may not be a good thing in some instances.
